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***COMPLETE!***



Philadelphia, 1972: All Luke wants is to share his music with the world. When an imposing, slightly older trumpet player called Emmett joins his band, Luke is fascinated – and a lifelong friendship is born. Love and loyalty are forged in the slow burn of tours, shows and recording sessions. Over the years, Luke’s curiosity and Emmett’s indulgence slowly push the two of them into complicated new territory. Emmett tries to keep them safe – but Luke wants it all.

In this monumental romance spanning more than twenty years, there are no heroes and no villains – just people doing their best in a messed up world.

Content Notes:

• Open relationships
• Period-realistic racism
• References to AIDS and period-realistic homophobia
• Mild Dom/sub power dynamics

No use of slurs, no sexual violence, no cheating

Author Notes:

Many thanks to my kind, helpful and generous beta readers: Ky K, Morgan Beacham, Leslie Lewis Johnson, Alex Lawrence, Nicola Doyle, and Kelly Salmon. Special thanks to Nicola for proof-reading assistance.

This is a work of fiction. All the names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents in this book are either the product of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

Cover designed by Getcovers

Story: El & Em
Rating: NC-17 (in a couple of later chapters only)
Word Count: This part: 3,200. Full story: About 103k.
Summary: Philadelphia, 1972. All Luke wants is to share his music with the world. When an imposing, slightly older trumpet player called Emmett joins his band, Luke is fascinated – and a lifelong friendship is born. Love and loyalty are forged in the slow burn of tours, shows and recording sessions. Over the years, Luke’s curiosity and Emmett’s indulgence slowly push the two of them into complicated new territory. Emmett tries to keep them safe – but Luke wants it all. In this monumental romance spanning more than twenty years, there are no heroes and no villains – just people doing their best in a messed up world.
Previous chapters: 1 || 2 || 3 || 4 || 5 || 6 || 7 || 8 || 9 || 10 || 11 || 12 || 13 || 14 || 15 || 16 || 17 || 18 || 19 || 20 || 21 || 22 || 23 || 24 || 25 || 26 || 27 || 28

Chapter 29

An hour or so later, Emmett made himself a drink and slowly went over to sit on the sofa in his hotel suite. He'd already showered, changed into his pajamas and robe, made a phone call and checked in with Diane, but he wasn't ready to sleep yet. He still felt faintly teary, and couldn't stop thinking of Luke's new song. Hearing it had felt, for the first time, like a validation – as though there might be a reason why he saw things so differently from Luke. As though, perhaps, he hadn't just failed Luke at the critical moment.

There was a knock at the door. Somehow Emmett wasn't surprised. “It's open,” he said.

When Luke came in, Emmett realized he'd been half-expecting this all night. It seemed like they had some unfinished business. He didn't get up, just looked up from where he sat on the couch.

Luke wore his usual post-concert outfit – clean jeans, a t-shirt, bare feet – just like he used to, all those nights on earlier tours – so many nights – when he'd call Emmett to ask if he could come over, then slide to his knees inside the door and wait with that air of stillness and tranquility. Emmett shut his eyes at the memory, and when he opened them again he saw Luke watching him, focused and intent, but with a familiar softening in the lines around his eyes.

( “Were you waiting for me, Em?” )

Story: El & Em
Rating: NC-17 (in a couple of later chapters only)
Word Count: This part: 3,200. Full story: About 103k.
Summary: Philadelphia, 1972. All Luke wants is to share his music with the world. When an imposing, slightly older trumpet player called Emmett joins his band, Luke is fascinated – and a lifelong friendship is born. Love and loyalty are forged in the slow burn of tours, shows and recording sessions. Over the years, Luke’s curiosity and Emmett’s indulgence slowly push the two of them into complicated new territory. Emmett tries to keep them safe – but Luke wants it all. In this monumental romance spanning more than twenty years, there are no heroes and no villains – just people doing their best in a messed up world.
Previous chapters: 1 || 2 || 3 || 4 || 5 || 6 || 7 || 8 || 9 || 10 || 11 || 12 || 13 || 14 || 15 || 16 || 17 || 18 || 19 || 20 || 21 || 22 || 23 || 24 || 25 || 26

Chapter 27

Things weren't turning out exactly how Emmett had expected. Instead of being alone or with Mary-Ann till she grew up, he was sharing his house with Robbie and Walt as well, at least temporarily. Rather than remaining single indefinitely, he'd met a kind woman at his gym and they often hung out for movies or dinner. And most unbelievably, the professional music career he'd assumed was over appeared to have resurrected. You just never knew about life, he often thought to himself.

One thing that hadn't surprised him was his renewed friendship with Luke. Somehow, he'd always known they'd figure it out again at some point. He just couldn't imagine a world where he and Luke were on the same planet and not eventually friends. Even Luke's slightly teary apology hadn't really been unexpected; Luke had always worked hard at relationships. What did make Emmett wonder a bit had been that hug after their conversation – not the physical contact, exactly, but the way it had lingered slightly, as though Luke hadn't wanted it to end.

Emmett often watched Luke and Laura together, when he happened to be with both of them. As far as he could tell, they seemed comfortable and content, like any couple. They weren't terribly demonstrative, but Luke always treated Laura courteously, consulted her on decisions or social invitations, and deferred to her on domestic matters. There was no reason to think he had anything besides real feelings for her – other than Emmett's nagging sense that Luke had been different with him, when they were involved.

In any case, Luke still seemed to treat him with a certain delicacy when they saw each other these days. Emmett couldn't tell if it was a lingering reserve from their long time apart, a fear of inadvertently giving the wrong impression, or something else altogether.

( Much of that fall was spent preparing for the upcoming tour. )

Story: El & Em
Rating: NC-17 (in a couple of later chapters only)
Word Count: This part: 3,200. Full story: About 103k.
Summary: Philadelphia, 1972. All Luke wants is to share his music with the world. When an imposing, slightly older trumpet player called Emmett joins his band, Luke is fascinated – and a lifelong friendship is born. Love and loyalty are forged in the slow burn of tours, shows and recording sessions. Over the years, Luke’s curiosity and Emmett’s indulgence slowly push the two of them into complicated new territory. Emmett tries to keep them safe – but Luke wants it all. In this monumental romance spanning more than twenty years, there are no heroes and no villains – just people doing their best in a messed up world.
Previous chapters: 1 || 2 || 3 || 4 || 5 || 6 || 7 || 8 || 9 || 10 || 11 || 12 || 13 || 14 || 15 || 16 || 17 || 18 || 19 || 20 || 21 || 22 || 23 || 24

Chapter 25

Luke and Laura had one long discussion before he made his decision, and then never really spoke about it again. Laura's bottom line was simple: she wanted a real partner and a real family, not a public relations exercise. Other than that, she put no rules or restrictions on Luke; she just trusted him. So it wasn't because of her that Luke cut off contact with Emmett; no, he made that choice himself.

He suggested relocating and she had no objection. He picked Seattle not only for the distance – whatever that was worth, when he was rich enough to charter a plane any time of the day or night and be with Emmett in a matter of hours – but because he'd heard that interesting music was coming from the area and thought it might be inspiring or at least distracting. The other option was Austin, and Luke didn't see himself living in Texas.

( Being a father turned out to be everything Luke had hoped for. )

Story: El & Em
Rating: NC-17 (in a couple of later chapters only)
Word Count: This part: 3,200. Full story: About 103k.
Summary: Philadelphia, 1972. All Luke wants is to share his music with the world. When an imposing, slightly older trumpet player called Emmett joins his band, Luke is fascinated – and a lifelong friendship is born. Love and loyalty are forged in the slow burn of tours, shows and recording sessions. Over the years, Luke’s curiosity and Emmett’s indulgence slowly push the two of them into complicated new territory. Emmett tries to keep them safe – but Luke wants it all. In this monumental romance spanning more than twenty years, there are no heroes and no villains – just people doing their best in a messed up world.
Previous chapters: 1 || 2 || 3 || 4 || 5 || 6 || 7 || 8 || 9 || 10 || 11 || 12 || 13 || 14 || 15 || 16 || 17 || 18 || 19 || 20 || 21 || 22

Chapter 23

The wedding went off smoothly in the last week of September, with Luke as the best man. He gave a touching speech, charmed Emmett's many family members, danced once with the by now heavily pregnant Angela, and joined the hired band to sing a couple of songs. Afterwards, Emmett and Angela headed off for a short honeymoon while Eddie and Laura brought Luke back to his house and took turns staying with him until he was able to be alone.

After the honeymoon, Emmett and Angela moved into a new apartment in suburban Philadelphia, and Emmett's life was consumed with birthing classes and nursery furniture. His first daughter arrived without incident in early October. Luke showed up at the hospital to admire the baby, congratulate the parents, drop off gifts, and sneak in a couple of kisses with the father when they were alone. Emmett assured Luke he'd be able to spend more time with him soon.

Rehearsals started up again a couple of weeks later, and Emmett sometimes hung around after they ended to catch up with Luke. When the tour began, in early November, Angela stayed behind with little Mary-Ann, named for Emmett's mother.

( For Luke, the live performances were a relief, an adrenaline shot of the excitement and joy he'd almost forgotten existed over his last few months of despondency. )

Story: El & Em
Rating: NC-17 (in a couple of later chapters only)
Word Count: This part: 3,200. Full story: About 103k.
Summary: Philadelphia, 1972. All Luke wants is to share his music with the world. When an imposing, slightly older trumpet player called Emmett joins his band, Luke is fascinated – and a lifelong friendship is born. Love and loyalty are forged in the slow burn of tours, shows and recording sessions. Over the years, Luke’s curiosity and Emmett’s indulgence slowly push the two of them into complicated new territory. Emmett tries to keep them safe – but Luke wants it all. In this monumental romance spanning more than twenty years, there are no heroes and no villains – just people doing their best in a messed up world.
Previous chapters: 1 || 2 || 3 || 4 || 5 || 6 || 7 || 8 || 9 || 10 || 11 || 12 || 13 || 14 || 15 || 16 || 17 || 18 || 19 || 20

Chapter 21

“So how'd the date go?”

“Oh…” Laura rolled her eyes and smiled. “Another dud. I swear, I'm starting to lose hope.”

Luke handed her a beer and pulled up the Adirondack chair beside her. “Aw, not yet, man. You got plenty of time.”

“I'm thirty-three, Luke. If I'm gonna have kids it's got to be soon.” Laura’s dark hair was bigger these days, teased and scrunched into voluminous curls, and she wore a shiny, tight-fitting satin dress with broad shoulders. Luke supposed it was all very fashionable, but he preferred her simpler looks.

“I know what you mean.” Luke stared out over the green fields of his newly purchased property. “I'm thirty-four, and I'm starting to think about kids now too.”

Laura gave him a commiserating look over the top of her glass. “It's hard to start a family when you're on the road so much of the time.”

“Yeah. Sorry to drag you off with us.” Luke laughed ruefully.

“It's only been once for me. You've been doing it for almost your whole life.”

“That's why we're takin’ a longer break this time. I ain't stayed home for two straight years since I was like…twenty.”

( They sat outside, behind the big old Pennsylvania farmhouse Luke had bought a few months back, enjoying the late sunset of early August. )

 

Story:El & Em
Rating: NC-17 (in a couple of later chapters only)
Word Count: This part: 3,200. Full story: About 103k.
Summary: Philadelphia, 1972. All Luke wants is to share his music with the world. When an imposing, slightly older trumpet player called Emmett joins his band, Luke is fascinated – and a lifelong friendship is born. Love and loyalty are forged in the slow burn of tours, shows and recording sessions. Over the years, Luke’s curiosity and Emmett’s indulgence slowly push the two of them into complicated new territory. Emmett tries to keep them safe – but Luke wants it all. In this monumental romance spanning more than twenty years, there are no heroes and no villains – just people doing their best in a messed up world.
Previous chapters: 1 || 2 || 3 || 4 || 5 || 6 || 7 || 8 || 9 || 10 || 11 || 12 || 13 || 14 || 15 || 16 || 17 || 18

Chapter 19

If fame made Luke nervous, it didn't bother Emmett at all. This, he figured, was what they'd been working toward for the last ten years – a reward for all their hard work. He hoped Luke would be able to take it in stride.

Touring was still the highlight of his life, and much more comfortable now. Emmett had an assistant of his own – Diane, one of his distant cousins – and a personal trainer who travelled with him, and whatever other services he might need were easily procured. By this time, he'd developed an extensive network of friends and acquaintances across the country, in addition to his own extended family, so there were people to hang out with at every stop. Sometimes he'd join Luke for big A-list events, when the rest of the band was invited. When they weren't, Luke complained about having to find a date and not being able to bring who he really wanted to. But Emmett didn't mind; he knew he'd be overshadowed by bigger names at those events anyway; he much preferred to join a local after-party or late-night club where he'd be treated like royalty all night. It occurred to him that the celebrity and party life might have tempted him, if he hadn't always been conscious of his responsibility for Luke's support and protection.

( Financially he was doing pretty well, though not, he understood, as well as Luke. )

Story:El & Em
Rating: NC-17 (in a couple of later chapters only)
Word Count: This part: 3,200. Full story: About 103k.
Summary: Philadelphia, 1972. All Luke wants is to share his music with the world. When an imposing, slightly older trumpet player called Emmett joins his band, Luke is fascinated – and a lifelong friendship is born. Love and loyalty are forged in the slow burn of tours, shows and recording sessions. Over the years, Luke’s curiosity and Emmett’s indulgence slowly push the two of them into complicated new territory. Emmett tries to keep them safe – but Luke wants it all. In this monumental romance spanning more than twenty years, there are no heroes and no villains – just people doing their best in a messed up world.
Previous chapters: 1 || 2 || 3 || 4 || 5 || 6 || 7 || 8 || 9 || 10 || 11 || 12 || 13 || 14 || 15 || 16

Chapter 17

In the morning Luke woke up suffused with a sense of well-being before he remembered why. When he stirred and brushed his arm against Emmett's thigh, the general contentment was instantly replaced with a surge of pride mixed with the giddiness that always came with completing a challenge and shedding a load of pressure. Oh yes, he'd done it.

He looked up, smiling, and saw that Emmett was sitting upright in bed, wearing his robe and his glasses, drinking coffee and reading a newspaper. That struck him as funny, but also unusual since Emmett almost always woke up earlier than Luke and didn't usually wait around for him.

“Hey, Em…”

( Emmett glanced down, putting the paper aside. “You're awake.” )

Story:El & Em
Rating: NC-17 (in a couple of later chapters only)
Word Count: This part: 3,200. Full story: About 103k.
Summary: Philadelphia, 1972. All Luke wants is to share his music with the world. When an imposing, slightly older trumpet player called Emmett joins his band, Luke is fascinated – and a lifelong friendship is born. Love and loyalty are forged in the slow burn of tours, shows and recording sessions. Over the years, Luke’s curiosity and Emmett’s indulgence slowly push the two of them into complicated new territory. Emmett tries to keep them safe – but Luke wants it all. In this monumental romance spanning more than twenty years, there are no heroes and no villains – just people doing their best in a messed up world.
Previous chapters: 1 || 2 || 3 || 4 || 5 || 6 || 7 || 8 || 9 || 10 || 11 || 12 || 13 || 14


Chapter 15

In the morning Luke got up and dressed and talked like nothing had happened, which Emmett was grateful for. He'd never meant to talk about his past that way; it was hard to believe Luke didn't think less of him now. But Luke didn't allude to the previous night's conversation or act any different at all.

Pretty soon everything else was forgotten in the excitement of preparing for the European leg of the tour. Emmett had flown to tournaments once or twice during his college wrestling career, but Luke had never been on a plane before and seemed like a kid looking forward to it.

Although the band was doing well now, financially, Luke didn't want to fly over the full team and all their equipment, so adjustments had to be made. The team was reduced to bare minimum, and they all spent more time together again. It was almost like the early touring days.

Emmett loved walking around the cities he'd heard or read about in his youth: Paris, Rome, Berlin, Amsterdam. He tried to get out every day, and the others often joined him – Ray or Gordon or Leo, or Luke whenever he could get away. They were especially curious to meet European women, who were indeed different from their American counterparts in ways Emmett couldn't exactly define, apart from their accents. Luke and Emmett were too busy investigating these differences to spend many nights with each other.

( The shows themselves went well, with very large, warm, receptive audiences. )

Story:El & Em
Rating: NC-17 (in a couple of later chapters only)
Word Count: This part: 3,200. Full story: About 103k.
Summary: Philadelphia, 1972. All Luke wants is to share his music with the world. When an imposing, slightly older trumpet player called Emmett joins his band, Luke is fascinated – and a lifelong friendship is born. Love and loyalty are forged in the slow burn of tours, shows and recording sessions. Over the years, Luke’s curiosity and Emmett’s indulgence slowly push the two of them into complicated new territory. Emmett tries to keep them safe – but Luke wants it all. In this monumental romance spanning more than twenty years, there are no heroes and no villains – just people doing their best in a messed up world.
Previous chapters: 1 || 2 || 3 || 4 || 5 || 6 || 7 || 8 || 9 || 10 || 11 || 12


Chapter 13

After that, Luke and Emmett often got together when they were alone at night. Emmett figured Luke's crush wouldn't last forever so he might as well enjoy it while it continued. Even when he brought a woman back to the hotel with him, Emmett would often find himself wondering what Luke was up to. He had the impression Luke was much more selective than him in bringing back guests.

Overall, Emmett enjoyed the whole tour even more than the previous one. He was hugely proud of the band onstage – this was the tightest, hardest working group of musicians he'd ever played with. Even better, while of course he loved Luke best, he was fond of everyone he worked with, from band mates to crew and roadies.

Between shows, Emmett worked with Gordon, and then with Eddie as well, to develop his voice and take on more backup vocals and harmonies. He enjoyed the singing, and Luke seemed especially pleased, calling his voice surprisingly sweet and even giving him a couple of short solos. But there were limits to what Emmett could take on while still leaving enough lung capacity for his trumpet and harp, and he didn't think Luke was fully satisfied.

( On many days Emmett almost felt sorry for Luke, who constantly had so much to deal with. )